Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
