you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
