Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
