And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
