she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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