im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
