Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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