We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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