butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
