I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
