Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
