Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
