Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
