yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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