i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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