hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
