I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
