please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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