I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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