I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
