I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
