I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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