i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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