I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
