We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We have started to decorate penises.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
