It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
