my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
