did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
