Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
