even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
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