Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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