Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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