census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
