I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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