end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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