hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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