Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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