Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
