somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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