I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
