sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
