I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
