possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
