Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
