Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
