I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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