Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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