i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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