Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
