if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
